I no longer consider myself a religious person, more spiritual. I believe in God and karma but that's where my relationship with spirituality ends. (Thanks in advance but any invites to your church will be declined for those who think I just haven't found the right church yet.) So this blog post will not be based on bible scriptures, although I will be making religious references.
Do soul ties exist?
Even if it's just sex there is one person who will always develop an attachment. Women are often called out for catching feelings too quickly and think that because the guy walks away he doesn't care. Oh how wrong you are! He may not say he misses you but he most definitely thinks about you. If the bond is that strong or worth keeping then he may call in a year or 2 asking how you are in the hope that you can meet again and continue your blossoming romance - not only because of the sex but because of a soul tie. No matter how small or how much he tries to suppress it, it's there. Soul ties are not physical, there is no string that you can tug to make the knot tighter or bring the person closer,
it is a 'spiritual' knot tied between you. I believe those who lacked affection or a stable infant/care giver relationship when younger are most likely to form false soul ties as they tend to latch on to anyone or anything who shows them affection and tell the world that love isn't true. As it is a strong psychological attachment it can sometimes be reversed by training your psyche out of it. What I found most interesting is that soul ties are only mentioned in Christianity, but everyone whether Muslim, Jewish or atheist experiences them so we cannot limit the topic to one religion. It is said that a marital soul tie is formed at the alter when the bride and groom hold hands and exchange vows but, what many people are not taught is that soul ties are not only limited to human relationships, they are present in all relationships we form.
An article I found on a Christian website described soul ties as attachments to things such as music and celebrity. Building a 'demonic' bridge between the two of you across which 'demonic' vibes can pass and cause you to be become obsessed *cough* Beyonce fans *cough cough*. They also said that getting over a soul tie can be done by cutting communication, forgiving the person and returning gifts. I would ignore the last point as makes more sense to throw them away because communication to attach any small ties that still exist. Anyway, this all translates as simply ending the relationship and moving on. However, the simplicity of it made me think about more complex relationships, for example a child and an abusive parent. As they are the child's care giver the child may not understand that the treatment is wrong and not tell anyone about it. Even if the child does tell someone and the two are separated, a lot of the time that person is able to forgive the parent or at least be civil with them but I guess it all depends on the individual.
The only thing that the detachment of soul ties Some what religious was prayer. I personally do not believe in the power prayer or the touch of your pastor genuinely changing anything, it's all in your mind and being able to change thought processes. I see prayer as a copping mechanism. A few hopeful words to help you stay calm and positive during hard times or give thanks when things go well. I don't want anyone thinking I'm no longer religious because I asked God for something and it was never fulfilled, I'm just think a lot about religion is bogus, but please do not let my beliefs question your own. My reason seeing prayer as a coping mechanism is because I've seen a lot of lazy Christians who think a prayer will solve all their problems without actively working to change the situation. Always remember it is YOU who must put in work in order to make things happen. I'm not saying prayer is bad or unnecessary but be can active, work towards whatever it is you want.
Although time heals all wounds it seems some people enjoy picking the same scab more than once causing the wound to remain open. For this reason, I believe that there is always that one person you never forget or cannot let go off totally. Unless you marry this person, the soul tie will remain and you could consider this person your soul mate.
After my first heart break I found myself unwilling to pursue any attachment even ones that seemed genuine. I would talk to a guy then just stop and move on before the attachment formed on my side. I disregarded his feelings and the attachment being built on his side (because of course we are taught that men don't having feelings). I would meet them once when I gave them my number, we'd talk and I'd avoid seeing them. The longest time this has gone on for is 4 years, I even bumped into him a while ago and surprisingly he's still interested, although I had been in one relationship during this time. My biggest fear about attachments is them not lasting and if they don't then having to get over them, so I prefer not to form them. But when I am ready it's usually too late because he has cut off his tie and it's back to square one for me. Trying to get over someone is one of the most painful experiences and can consume you for months even years. I honestly believe adding to your soul ties is far more damaging that your body count - yes I believe the two are very different. Although sex should be sentimental it is easy for many people to have a one night stand or booty call and forget the person when someone new comes along. But allowing yourself to invest in a person mentally and spiritually, then becoming infatuated or falling in love is far worse because you never forget the feeling and part of them, even if it's only memories will be with you for ages if not forever. Some may regard them as the same because of the physical intimacy but there is a clear difference. A genuine soul tie whether healthy or unhealthy in an emotional attachment although the psychical may contribute to it's existence. I believe psychical attachments can end pretty quickly once you find something equally or more aesthetically pleasing e.g: people that get into relationships based on looks rather personality end up in countless failed relationships and feel no way about it because there was no real attachment.
When doing some research I had a few questions that remain unanswered. Firstly do soul ties exist in polygamous marriages (these are found in both Christianity and Islam as well as various ethnic communities). A recent documentary on channel 4 regarding polygamous marriage in Islam said that men rarely seek 2nd and 3rd wives for religious purposes, it's because of the sex and being able to have different experiences. As many of us don't believe in Polygamous relationships instead we accept the wife/mistress or main chick/side chick model, this then lead me to question a persons ability to cheat and have feelings for more than one person. Ever wondered how people can love all their children, including step and adopted children equally or can they? Although there are 6 types of love and we all know the difference WHY we are able to love so many friends and family but love only one sexual or romantic partner. Is it because we are unable to biologically or society has conditioned us to form only one romantic soul tie at a time? And finally why do people commit incest? If these different types of love really exist as well as different soul ties surely it shouldn't happen. I found little/no information on these topics but I'll keep looking.So to conclude soul ties are very real and everyone experiences them. I don't believe you can accumulate multiple romantic soul ties at once and I don't know why this is. It seems in order to develop a successful soul tie you must let go of any previous ties otherwise your new partner/friend will always be second best and the relationship will fail. Attachments are not only limited to people but music and other things which can alter your thoughts and cause you to act out of character. Although soul ties are spoken about in reference to religion, they are simply attachments which can be found in all aspects of your life. Maintain and develop healthy soul ties and kill all unhealthy ties, allowing them to linger can do you a lot more damage than the eye can see.
