The sex industry is something we seem to be so fascinated by, but only from a distance. We love hearing the stories of strippers and escorts but that's where it ends. Although we may joke about it, we know we would never get into the industry, no matter how well it paid.
For this reason, I asked escorts to contact me and share their stories. As I had expected not many responded but I learnt a lot from the ones that did. There were 3 women I spoke to but I picked these 2 because they have experienced the good and bad sides of the game.
They have asked to remain anonymous, so the sake of this post I have named the girls 'Jane' and 'Lucy'.
Initially, I sent them both the same questions but their responses prompted me to delve a little deeper. Both ladies had received most of, if not all of their clients through the same website. On this site you you are able to create a profile consisting of a short questionnaire, pics and videos. You get paid every time someone views or downloads them and of course men book you for dates and sessions.
For research purposes only, I created an account. With not much info and a cropped picture of my favourite porn star, within minutes I received a number of messages asking my availability. I was shocked at how easy it was.
Here's what the ladies had to say.
Jane, Age: 26
SLB: How long have you been escorting for?
Jane: I've stopped now, but 2 and a half years on and off.
Why did you start escorting?
I was in Uni and needed money. My housemates jokingly went on an escorting website and wanted to book a girl. I saw how much the girls were charging for such little of their time. So in my 2nd year I decided to get into it.
Did it interfere with your studies at all?
Never, you let people know your availability, so you only work when you're free.
What is the difference between an escort and a prositute?
Escorts are paid significantly more, I think, and get paid for their time. Where as prostitues get paid solely for having sex.
Why not get a 'normal' part time job like many other students?
The money. I could make £1000+ in a week tax free and people get paid that in a month.
Is it as bad as everyone thinks it is?
A lot of the time yes. The money is literally the only thing that keeps you going. I did inbound and outbound calls so a few clients knew where I lived. Some guys were stalkerish and very possessive. It can be very scary and turn you emotionless. I found that I had dis-attached feelings from sex. Now when I date a guy sex is just sex no matter how passionate, it doesn't lead to attachment anymore.
I've had clients get aggressive because they had gone over the time they paid for and I tried to leave. Catching HIV or AIDS was my biggest fear. I remember my first ever client took off his condom without me knowing, pinned me down and tried to have unprotected sex with me. I don't think I've ever been so scared but luckily I fought him off. Men will pay extra for such services but my health was way more important than the money.
What did you dislike the most about it?
Having to describe yourself as 'ebony' 'chocolate' 'caramel' 'thick' 'curvy' just to entice men. I think it has a lot to do with porn and wanting to experience porn like sex but I hated it. White men claimed to be attracted to black women and would only book black women but I knew it was just a fetish. They could name almost every black porn star but when I asked a few if they'd ever dated black women the answer was no. That's something I hated, but I guess it's part of the job.
Were you in a relationship whilst you were escorting?
Never. It would feel so wrong sharing your body with all those men then going back to your boyfriend.
Do you think it's harder for black escorts?
A lot harder, you have to be kinkier than the next 'ebony' girl to get someone's attention. There are a lot of black men who book escorts, but of course a lot more white men do. You have to appeal to them because that's where the money is. The sex is better with black men but white men tend to be a lot wilder, so you'll find yourself doing things you never thought you would sometimes. But they respect a lot, they take the time to get to know you and make sure you're comfortable.
You say men became possessive and sometimes aggressive. How did you cope with such situations?
You'd have to block their numbers and accounts so they couldn't contact you. Most will get a new number or create a new account and pester you anyway. It's hard because some girls don't want people to know what they do so who do you tell? Plus I think most people would dismiss an escort claiming to have been raped or abused, the same way they do when women are drunk or wear revealing clothes and get raped because they're 'asking' for it. Fair enough escorts offer certain services but we all have limits and we all have a right to say no. In terms of possessive, they won't see you if you tell them you have another client that day. They'll always rearrange so they have you for most of the day. They'd try to spend hours on the phone with you, bombard you with texts as if you were their girlfriend, despite many men being married. And if they had your address you had to be very careful, one guy tried to turn up unannounced a few times. I thought it would be a no strings attached sort of thing but they take ownership of you pretty quickly.
Did you feel guilty sleeping with married men?
Not really, they only mentioned their wives once or twice so it was never a topic of discussion. A few of my regular clients would stop seeing me occasionally when their wives found out. You'd be surprised how many couples have one email address between them.
Did friends and family know you were escorting?
Two friend knew, I told them so someone knew where I was, just incase anything happened.
How much did you charge?
1hour £190 2hours £350 then it went up from there and £1100 for an overnight stay. The men don't last that long in that 1hour they'll probably cum once and you spend the rest of the time talking. I'd charge more for outbound calls. If they wanted extras like GFE (girlfriend experience) i.e: kissing, holding hands, even just stroking and cuddles. I'd charge way more. Sounds bad, but you can exploit men for all their worth as an escort. You set your own rates, so you sell yourself for what you think you're worth and no-one can tell you otherwise. Regulars get a discount overtime. And it's not all about sex, I've been given huge tips for having deep conversation with guys who needed to vent or just wanted company. But it's easy to get attached to those kind of clients so I'd stop seeing them. Some men will try and haggle from the minute they contact you, those are the men to avoid. If you can't afford me then go else where. Even if you did negotiate, they still try to short change you.
What is the most you've been paid?
£3200 and all travel expenses paid for a weekend away in Greece. He was on a business trip and wanted someone to teach him more about sex because his wife didn't do much in bed.
What was it like travelling abroad with a complete stranger?
He wasn't a complete stranger but it was kind of scary. He could suddenly turn on you so you have to be careful. Agencies take safety very seriously and do their own checks. But working independently, you have to do research. I wouldn't suggest travelling with a guy who makes a brand new profile asking specifically for a girl to travel with, it's probably dodgy. Even before going to meet a new client you have to check the reviews left by other girls. If he's got all positive feedback from genuine girls on the site then meet him. Check how recent the feedback is and talk to him a little to gage what kind of person he is.
Weirdest client you've ever had?
There's so many I could tell you about but I'll never forget this one. He messaged me asking if I wanted him to be my slave so I could be his long term ebony queen. He wanted to be my foot stool and chair whenever I saw him so I'd sit on him and let him pay with my feet. He was such a sweet guy so I felt bad sometimes. However, I did prefer that level of attention as opposed to the clients that just wanted a quicky. They'd throw the money at you, stick it in then you'd leave. Those sessions sometimes made you wonder if it's worth it after being treated so well by others.
Would you ever go back to escorting?
No. It's quick easy money but no. I think I've suppressed a lot of the memories, it's not something I'm proud of but it gave me good money when I needed it. Anyone considering it should most definitely think twice. You'll say you want to save the money but blow it on clothes and shoes, or even worse drugs and alcohol. One client told me his girlfriend was an escort (I found it strange too) he actually used her account to find me. He said overtime she had no limit to what she allowed. You can't be shy in this business, when you say no it means no. She did anal, then allowed bareback so she caught STI's, got pregnant 3 times by different men and used all the money for cocaine. She started at 19 and had turned 27 when he told me the story. So many people have it in their head that escorts can only progress once they start. Many do, but others fall of the wagon, become full time prositutes and end up twice as broke as before.
A lot of the men who use escorting services are lonely and looking for love, even the married men. Despite the job, they respect you so much, it feels strange a and almost wrong sometimes. They treat you like a partner and worship the ground you walk on. But you have to remember it's just a job.
Lucy, Age:20
SLB: How long have you been escorting for?
Lucy: About 7 months
Why did you start escorting?
A friend tried it. She knew someone who worked at an agency it but my friend hated it so she stopped even thought it paid well. I did it and it wasn't too bad. But I decided to go independent.
What is the difference between an agency and independent escort?
At an agency you get what you're given in terms of clients as they will give you to the guy who's requirements you meet. They take a cut out of what you make. You get paid £200 for 1 hour, they'd take 30% so you're left with £140. Independent, you set your own rates, you can do inbound or out bound jobs and you keep all the cash. It's a lot easier.
What is the difference between an escort and prostitute?
I'm not too sure, I think escorts are a little classier. You get paid for the time spent with the client rather than what you do with them.
Is it as bad as everyone thinks it is?
Yes and no. Everyone has different expenses. I've heard some bad stories so think I've been pretty lucky. I haven't had to deal with anything traumatic so I enjoy what I do.
What do you enjoy about escorting?
The clients are lovely. They are smart, wealthy and respect you so it makes you feel good. They live such a different lifestyle compared to what I'm used to, so they introduce me to new things. They have beautiful houses and drive nice cars. It's nice to be around such people and get paid at the same time, especially for doing something I enjoy.
Do friends and family know you escort?
No. I could never tell them. I only see men over 30, preferably white men because I'm black. Men never post pics on the site or send them to you before you meet so I'm always scared of a client being a friend or relative.
Most you've been paid?
£800 for an overnight stay
What was your first indepdent booking like?
I was nervous but it went well. He bought drinks and dinner so we spoke for a while before the session, he was a really nice guy. The sex wasn't the best and I was happy he didn't last long. I remember being shocked at how easy it is to make so much money. From then on I thought there was no point sleeping with guys and getting hurt. I'd rather get paid for it and treated well.
Weirdest client you've had?
Honestly, all the Indian guys that have contacted me are really weird I think it's because their culture doesn't really allow them to explore sex so they find out about escorts and go crazy. Even when you specify you don't do certain things they'll try and bribe you to stuff like hard and water sports, rimming but especially unprotected sex. I've had to report a number of them for harassment. I didn't know one guy was Indian before I met him so it was really awkward. I was even more surprised that he was Muslim and married. After that session I refused to see any Indian men again.
Do you ever feel guilty knowing they are married?
I always thought I would but surprisingly not. I don't know why I don't. You think about it for a second, but after that it's like whatever because they still try to book the session regardless of what their wife says. But never mentioning his wife is one of the many unwritten rules of escorting. I had a regular who always wanted to meet at his house rather than a hotel, so I dyed my hair the same colour as his wife's just incase she found a strand. I had a wife call me after going through her husband's phone. It was so sad because she just had a baby. She was angry at him because he had done it before but concerned for my well being. Girls go crazy finding out their man is cheating, so I'm not sure how I'd feeling knowing my husband was paying for sex, especially after being an escort myself.
Do you plan on escorting long term?
I hope not. I have a financial target to reach so as soon as I'm there I'll stop. I did research before I started and some women say its hard to stop because you get caught up in the lifestyle. Friends wonder why you're always busy and you can't tell them, then if you take a day off to see them you feel like you're loosing out on a lot of money. The money can side track you from a lot of things, but at the moment it's worth it.
